


Tea Cakes and Orange Marmalade

by Lunchcase



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Accidents, Age Swap, M/M, Mushrooms, Siblings, Young Fíli, by accident, climbing dangerous mountains for a mushroom, getting hurt, older kili, orange marmalade, tea cakes, the golden jesshroom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-04
Updated: 2015-04-04
Packaged: 2018-03-21 05:49:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3680304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunchcase/pseuds/Lunchcase
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili is an impulsive risk taker whose reckless attitude to life causes trouble wherever he goes. Acts first, thinks after a stern lecture from Thorin. It's often up to his Fili, ever the responsible one, to pick up the pieces and face the blame with him. It's scientifically proven that Kilis are easier to manage with teacakes. </p><p>Age swap fic - Kili is older than Fili.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Golden Jesshroom

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nocturnal_Silver_Wolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocturnal_Silver_Wolf/gifts).



> Okay, so this was for a fic exchange with Nocturnal_Silver_Wolf. Nocturnal wrote a Mystrade pairing fic for me and in return I wrote a Fili/Kili fic. Here's the prompt they gave me:
> 
> just make it fluffy and cute  
> cuz normally, in the original  
> Kili is younger than Fili  
> He's reckless  
> kinda adventurous?  
> i dunno, just in general more lighthearted  
> on the other hand, Fili is responsible because he's the older brother  
> He kind of has to be more contained  
> etc.  
> with all Thorin's expectations on him  
> but i want you to write an AU where Fili is younger, and Kili is older
> 
> I'm not exactly in the Hobbit fandom, despite watching all three movies (and also the LOTR movies previously), and I haven't read the book, so this may be ooc. Just a bit. Or a lot. I mean I liked it, but Nocturnal is the hard core fan here. I just based most of the fic on my interpretation of the prompt. To be honest I didn't really know where I was going with this and I felt like slamming my head on the table multiple times, but after much constipation of the mind I leave you with this.

"Kili, is this really the most sensible idea?"

"I'm teaching you a life lesson, little brother."

"I am not entirely certain what I am supposed to be learning."

Kili looked down at his adorable little brother, who was looking up at him with worried eyes. Really worried eyes, with his head tilted quite high, due to Kili's current position on the mountain he was scaling, but that was his usual expression anyway due to the alarming frequency of being witness to Kili's near suicidal antics. Fili was still such a young dwarf, but frolicked everywhere with the air of a highly responsible adult - miles more responsible than Kili could ever be, despite being older. Through his meticulous observations, Kili swears he can see Fili puff up a bit, like a lion, whenever he ‘strides‘ - actually _strides,_ taking steps abnormally, almost uncomfortably large for his small legs, which only serves to make him more precious despite his intention - around the more prestigious side of the mountain. Heck, he’s got the hair for it. Such long, abundant locks of hair.... 

Age 10 years but walking around convinced himself to be 50, Fili (and Kili would never tell him this) still looked like a 7 year old. Such a mess of different ages, his Fili was. A walking dichotomy. He shook his head, fondly exasperated at his young brother. They were both a mess, in their own respective ways.

Fili is currently frowning at him with what Kili knew to be an expression of exasperation and worry, but to anyone else's eyes it would be seen as a petulant frown, what with his bottom lip pouting out. He chuckled at his adorable face - _mine, mine_ \- and kept climbing. The younger of the two, who was only half the size of the older, shook his head in that histrionic way only 7 year olds can pull off, and proceeded to drag out a large sigh, as if life was wearing out his little decade old body. _It probably was, considering how little there is to wear out,_ Kili smirked. 

"When Thorin comes, he will be blaming me again for not keeping my older brother in check. If you do not come back down this instant and I do mean _this instant_ , I will refuse to take the blame again." 

"Hush, brother mine. Look, I got it!" 

One hand grasping the side of the mountain, his other held up a shining mushroom. 

"This whole escapade is all for a mushroom?"

"Oh, Brother. Not just any mushroom. The Golden Jesshroom that every respectable dwarf needs!"

Personally, Fili thought a respectable dwarf, a heir to the throne nevertheless, would not be subjecting his brother to constant lethal worry that will undoubtedly result in health issues later in life. Differing definitions notwithstanding, Fili scoffed at his brother's foolishness, but couldn't deny the joy that was rubbing off on him from his older brother's eager expression.

“So, is this the life lesson in which I am to be taught? The lesson of how to climb down a mountain?”

“Well. Well, yes. That is part of the lesson. The Golden Jesshroom was a large part of it, but this is important. Um. As well.”

“Intriguing. So, how _are_ you going to get down?”

"Oh. Um, that shouldn't be a problem. Just kind of put my foot there, do a triple somersault here-"

Expectantly, he fell. Fili doesn't even know why he's so surprised, but he, being a good younger brother, was anyway and cringed when he heard a huge _thump_ land on the ground. At that moment, visions of Kili descending ruin onto the dwarf race when he ascends the throne flashed through his little mind. 

"Brother! Are you alright?"

Kili rubbed the back of his hairy head and smoothed out his locks, wincing a bit in the process. To hear the worry in his brother's voice was worth the fall. Almost. The pain was getting to him. 

“I hope you were dutifully taking notes.”

“I fear that if I applied your lesson to practice, I will never again be able to eat one of Mr Bilbo’s delicious homemade tea cakes.”

"Good to know you worry."

"I have no choice. Stop being so reckless; who is supposed to be the older one in this sibling dynamic?"

Kili heaved a huge sigh combined with an exaggerated eye roll, but the effect was ruined by the uncontrollable smile at the end. " _You are_." he said, trying to feign a bored monotone. 

"Exactly."

Fili ripped a bit of cloth from his clothes and with his small, skillful fingers - irritably he thought _skillful because practice, practice because he keeps doing this to himself_ \- he nimbly tied it around the most obvious damage he could see. Sensing his brother's silent pain, all irritation evaporated as he turned towards him. 

"Are you certain you are alright? There is no hiding from me, you know." 

The authority in his little brother's teeny, tiny, high pitched voice made him laugh and for a second he forgot he was in pain. 

"Do not fret so much. You are only young, you will get tired fast!"

"You are aging me tenfold." Fili sighed, once again in a way that did not fit his age. "Let us take our leave now and get you repaired." Using all his might, Fili tried to take his brother's weight while struggling slightly. Kili leaned half on him and the other half on his bandaged leg, aware of Fili's efforts and determined to give him the satisfaction, albeit paining himself. 

"Are you sure you are fine?"

"Stop speaking so many words and let us just _go_."

“Perhaps Mr Bilbo will make us one of his tea cakes. Perhaps he will take pity on your injuries and also make some of his orange marmalade. Perhaps you will stop with this constant tomfoolery and Thorin will spare us the annihilation.” 

Kili glanced sideways at his younger brother, at that moment revealing his rare youthful optimism. It rather begged to be indulged. Mandated, even. “Mm. Perhaps.” 

_Perhaps._

The two brothers limped into the sunlight.


	2. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did they really think they could get away with anything without arousing the suspicions of dear Uncle Thorin?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't going to be in two chapters but it felt cleaner this way.

"Why does this always happen? Fili, why do you let your brother almost kill himself so often?"

The pair of brothers stood there, silently, one bobbing his tiny head up and down and the other shuffling on his limped leg, staring intently on a spot on the floor, all the while cursing the fact they didn't get away quick enough. 

As the onslaught of fury steadily decreased, Thorin finally ( _not soon enough,_ Kili thought) stopped and stared at the brothers. He sighed. 

"Kili, cease with your foolish dare devil tricks. Fili." His gaze lingered at the younger dwarf, and his expression softened as he saw how his young nephew, his young, old, sensible nephew, always confident and responsible, now looking at him with a guilty, vulnerable expression. _Finally the face fits the age,_ was all Thorin could think of, and he had to remind himself that sometimes Fili was still just a little dwarf. Little and always worrying about his brother, when he didn't need to be. "Fili, I trust you with Kili. However, you are not responsible for him. Remember, you are not always blamed for his stupidity." 

" _What?_ " Kili muttered underneath his breath, frowning at the floor. Fili snorted, but quickly recovered with a cough and a stern nod of his head. 

"Yes, uncle."

"You are both dismissed."

The brothers hurriedly scurried out of the lofty throne room, just as Bilbo entered from the back. "How was the discipline?" he asked, standing next to Thorin on the throne, arms crossed behind him as he watched the young dwarves leave. Thorin glanced at him and slumped slightly on his seat. 

"Sometimes, I feel the Dwarven Gods graced us all with Fili, aware that Kili may one day end us all if his younger brother was not there to moderate him."

Bilbo chuckled. "Still. Do you not think you are a bit hard on the little dwarf? Now I have to go make some tea cakes to cheer him up."

"I am not against the idea of tea cakes. But I _am_ in the hope that with this hardness, Fili may succeed in impeding the maelstrom that is Kili from bringing destruction to us all when the time comes." When the time comes for them to explore the world, just the two of them.

"And when _is_ the time coming?" 

Thorin, with a slight grin, finally fully turned to look at Bilbo, who grinned back. 

"Soon, babe.”

Soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Also, is it much trouble for you to make some orange marmalade as well?"

The Hobbit looked at his Dwarf and decided no, it isn't much trouble at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BABE 
> 
>  
> 
> Also, why did I use tea cakes and orange marmalade? 
> 
> http://lotrscrapbook.bookloaf.net/other/recipes.html
> 
> Initially Bilbo wasn't even supposed to be in this fic, but I was like, hey, Nocturnal just started reading Bagginshield after much reluctance, so you know I'll throw in some Bagginshield and incorporate some Bilbo into it. So of course I thought of food. I didn't expect it to work when I searched up 'Middle Earth Recipes' but it did, and right near the top of the list was exactly what I was looking for. Have fun making your own Middle Earth Themed Feast. I'm not sure if it's correct or not; spare me. 
> 
> Basically Bagginshield is already established, and he's living with Thorin for a bit, and everyone loves his tea cakes and marmalade.


End file.
